Winter's Solace
by kmartmfc
Summary: Tai Kamiya is left heartbroken when he finds out that his best friend, Sora Takenouchi, likes his other best friend, Matt Ishida. Supposedly. Everyone's lives are sent spiraling down as Tai tries to move on. DISCLAIMER: forgot in story. I dont own digimon


Winter's Solace

By Kyle Martin

**PLEASE READ AFTERWORD!!!**

_Tai's POV:_ The sun beat down relentlessly on the glistening and undisturbed morning snow early in the mid-winter's day. And though it was the first snow day of the year and still in the early hours of the sprightly morning, a certain Tai Kamiya could not sleep. The depressed young 14-year-old sat up in his bed and looked around his dark room, for the blinds had been pulled shut early in the week, and would stay that way for as long as Tai would keep up his pensive and lugubrious demeanor.

"What's the point?" Tai asked himself. He glanced over at the digital clock on his bedside table. "Great. It's seven thirty and I can't fall asleep." he sighed. "Whatever." He groaned as he reluctantly lifted himself off of the soft mattress and made his way into the kitchen. When he arrived at the refrigerator, he yanked the door ajar and glowered at the various organic foods that sat on the shelf so innocently. Tai grumbled as he gingerly lifted an egg from its tray and slammed the door all too loudly.

_Damn it, _he thought. _That'll wake Kari._ However, unbeknownst to Tai, his not so little sister had slipped out of her bed almost half an hour earlier to find her brother in the same depressed state that he had been in all week. The 12-year-old remained hidden to Tai, as he had been so volatile and unpredictable lately that she had learned to keep her distance when Tai was in one of his agitated moods. Kari lurked in the shadows as she watched her brother lift the cooked egg off of the frying pan and place it on a porcelain plate. He then headed over to the round glass table and took a seat as he moodily prodded the slightly overcooked egg.

Tai slowly ate the organic meal subconsciously while his thoughts drifted to the earlier days of the week. _God I'm a fool, _he thought as he remembered the late night that was only a few weeks ago, but it felt like a millennium.

_FLASHBACK_

Wind whipped his untidy mess of hair as he ran through the deep, Christmas Eve snow so fast that it felt as if he would never stop.

_I can't stop,_ he though as he clutched a stitch in his side. _I need to tell her. I need to stop her before she gets to him first._

He rounded the corner and saw an angel come into view. Tai came to a halt as he stared at the back of the most beautiful sight that he had ever seen. And though he had seen it many times before, he still marveled at the immeasurable comeliness of the young girl that stood only yards away from him in the blue moon lit park. Tai's ravenous eyes feasted on her appearance as he observed the silky auburn hair that protruded from the divine body of Sora Takenouchi. And though she stood with her back to him, he knew those beautiful eyes that could read him like a book all too well. He remembered the eyes with the same red that could outshine even the sun and the moon combined. When he finally amassed the courage to walk up to her, he found that his feet were rooted to the spot. Then, Sora turned so suddenly that Tai couldn't even react. As if the bonding catalyst that held Tai's heels was suddenly broken as the urge to run dawned on Tai. He couldn't face his love when she had been waiting for Matt all this time. Could he?

Then she spoke with the voice of a siren than was attempting him to venture further into his own demise.

"Tai! I didn't see you there! Why do you look like you're about to pass out?!" she asked. Tai smiled to himself. She was always so caring. Then his heart leapt as realization dawned upon young Taichi. _She cares!_ He tried to hide his furious blush as he kicked himself mentally. _She's gonna see!_ He thought. She did.

"Taichi Kamiya, why the hell didn't you wear a coat?! Your face is all red! You must be freezing!" Sora exclaimed.

"Nah, I'm fine." Tai mumbled in reply to the sweet voice he had longed so much to hear. "You don't look so hot either, big shot." Tai lied through his teeth. She was wearing a sky blue coat with the blue jeans that she had fought so hard to stop her mother from throwing away. She looked dazzling as the shimmering moonlight amplified the already incomprehensible beauty of the soft face and skin that was, and only could be, Sora's.

"Yeah, well." she sighed, "What can you do? What are you standing all the way over there for? It's not like I have cooties. Well, you already caught most of them, since we spent all of childhood together." She laughed; as did he while he moved closer to the girl he had always loved. _If only she felt the same way._ He laughed bitterly at the thought. _Why would she love you? She's Sora. And you, you're Tai._ His heart seemed to beat frantically as he took long strides toward the girl until he stood so close that he had to look down at her.

"This close enough?" Tai asked. Then, his heart plummeted with the speed of a peregrine falcon in a nosedive. He glanced at the large green package in her soft hands and realized that the tag said the four most devastating, and in Tai's case, malign words on the face of the Earth.

The unsightly tag read _To: Matt, Love: Sora._

Tai could have cried out in unbearable agony for all of the pain he felt as he read it over and over again. He knew this would happen. I couldn't be true. Could it? Tai stood in a daze as he realized that Sora's lovely rose red eyes were piercing into his chocolate brown ones. _Oh no! _he thought as he silently debated whether or not to turn away. _She could read him as easily as a food label under a magnifying glass._ Just as he decided to turn and run full tilt back home, she spoke.

"What's wrong Tai? You look disappointed. Is something wrong?" she asked.

_No,_ he thought. _He couldn't run now. He had to try._ So, he gathered up all of the courage that the small crest he wore around his neck and spoke.

"Sora, are you going to the concert with anyone?" He almost bit back the words as they escaped his lips. He had put the subject off for a long time, as it was sure to remind her of the one she really wanted to go with.

"Oh." She said. "Well, I was going to wait for Matt. I was going to give him these cookies and see if he wanted to, well, hang out with me. I've been waiting for him to come out of his band rehearsal." She said as she pointed to the extremely large tent behind her. Tai had been totally oblivious to the vast structure completely due to Sora's even vaster beauty. Tough he still barely noticed it, for at her words, he felt like his heart was being ripped out and skinned in front of him. And even with the extreme torment he felt, he still managed to emit a small "Oh" in reply to her desolating words.

_Sora's POV: OH NO! I HURT HIM! MY TAICHI! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! _she asked herself while cursing herself and her stupidity. _He thinks I love Matt now!_

"Tai? Are you okay?" Sora asked meekly. She hated herself for hurting the only boy she ever loved. Had he misunderstood? She only wanted to congratulate Matt for his performance in the earlier concert. And the cookies. They were just a gist of friendship. Certainly Tai would realize that. Right?

No.

"I'm fine, go ahead in and say hi to Matt for me, okay?" was his devastating reply. _He didn't care. _The words in Sora's head caused deep and painful blows to sink into her emotional morale, though she repeated them again and again in her head. She, however, was wrong. Tai cared for her as the sun cares for a plant. Though he knew (or at least thought) he could never hold her close, he would only think about her wellbeing and happiness day and night, even if it was from afar.

"You… You're not mad?" Sora asked, forcing back a torrent of sparkly tears.

"Of course not, now go have fun." And with that young, heartbroken Taichi stalked off, leaving the crestfallen Sora in a synonymous, if not worse, state.

Sora returned home recalling how after Tai left, Matt saw her alone and offered his condolences and announced that he loved her. She could not refuse such a close and open friend. And having love, even if it is not with the person you have loved for many years, was better than no love, right? Sora tried to convince herself of this but she knew deep down that it wasn't so. Matt and Sora were now officially boyfriend and girlfriend. She should be happy. Yet as she remembered her beloved Taichi's face when he caught sight of that damned tag, she finally released the hold on her tsunami of tears, and she wailed and balled into her pillow. Why couldn't she have gotten a less "intimate" tag to put on that cursed present?

_END FLASHBACK_

_Tai's POV: Why hadn't he told her? It could've been his head in her lap. Him getting to spend nights watching movies and eating popcorn with her, not Matt. _He thought. _No it wouldn't, _he reminded himself. _She still doesn't love you back, remember?_ He finished his egg and threw the white plate in the sink. Then, he turned and addressed the body that had been watching him for all of thirty minutes.

"You can come out now Kar. Don't worry; I'm not going to yell at you." He said in his deep raised voice. The young Kamiya came out from her hiding place as she was forced to admit that the "ninja" skills that she claimed she possessed just weren't there.

"Fine. You got me." She replied with a feigned scowl. Tai smiled. No matter how depressed he was, Kari had always found a way to make him feel better. They had the strongest bond that a brother and sister could share; no matter how convoluted it seemed at times.

"What do ya want for breakfast kiddo?" Tai asked in his elderly-brother-taking-care-of-little-sister act.

"Nothing." She said simply. "I'm not hungry." She replied.

"Eggs and toast it is." Smirked Tai. She opened her mouth to argue but was cut off by her older brother. "I do NOT care how much you want to impress T.K.; you're not going anorexic on me." He said sternly. She blushed but complied and a few minutes later, was handed a plate of the aforementioned foods. She ate in silence as Tai stared off into some unknown section of space. Once Kari was done with her breakfast, they heard their parents stir around in their bedroom. Tai, who did not want to be bombarded with a barrage of questions of his welfare by his mother, decided he would take a walk. After he announced this to his sister, Tai grabbed his coat and boots before slumping out the door.

He stepped out into the snow and felt the cool and frigid air against his hands and ears. He inhaled and meandered around. An hour passed and Tai still had nothing to do. _Oh crap!_ He thought. _Did I forget my key? What if Mom and Dad and Kari want to go out for a while?_ He rummaged through his pocket and found the forged bit of metal just as something brittle brushed up against his hand. He pulled it out and found it to be a folded and wrinkled piece of paper. Tai unfolded it out of curiosity to find that it was the poem that he had written for Sora. The cycles through the washing machine had blurred the words, but Tai knew them by heart. He reread the hours of grueling work that he had put into this poem, which he had made to no avail.

He felt bitter again; tainted even. He strutted around town in a foul mood for the rest of the day until sun started to set. He looked up at it and saw that the beautiful scene was exactly the same shade of red that Sora's eyes possessed. This did not help. He turned away only to find a different scene that would horrify Taichi Kamiya to the final extent.

_Sora's POV:_ She sat up on her bed, thinking about the date she had later with Matt Ishida. Had she let it go on long enough? She desperately wanted her friend to be happy and content, yet she deeply wanted to express her feelings toward Tai. Why didn't she do it? Then He, the boy of her dreams since kindergarten, would be the one holding her every Saturday, not the one she had forced herself to call "boyfriend". She had no choice. She would have to end it.

"Hey, Sora!" Matt called. "How are you doing?"

"Fine." She lied as she approached from down the block. They had agreed to meet at the restaurant that Tai and she had gone to every night while on their childish "dates" that she had learned to relish so much. Of course to Tai, they probably didn't mean anything before.

"Okay then. Let's go inside!" Matt said. Sora complied begrudgingly. They then sat down and ordered their meals. Idle chat started and Matt's "lovey dovey" voice ensued. It sickened Sora, but she put up with it as she would soon break his heart. In between Matt stating repeatedly that he loved her and the imminent stroking of Sora's hair, she decided to tell him.

"Matt, I… I need to tell you something." Sora said unsurely, for no matter how much she wanted to end it, he was stiller her friend, and she did not want to break this boy's heart as she did Tai's.

"Sora? What is it?" Matt asked.

"Um, I think that I…" _Say it Sora! I think I want to see other people! Say it! _Matt, however, interrupted her thoughts.

"Are you trying to say you love me?" asked the ecstatic boy.

"What? No! I was going to say that I..." The rest, however, was cut off as Matt suddenly leaned across the table and locked lips with the unknowing girl. They broke apart in an eternity of seconds. Sora was shocked at what Matt had done, but crushed as her head turned to the window to see a look of horror and tears sprouting from the chocolate eyes that bore down into hers and made her feel tainted, disgusting, even filthy.

"Tai." She whispered. And as he fled, she found herself slipping out of the booth to follow Tai and forgetting all about the blonde boy sitting across from her, who also got up from his seat to pursue the one that he loved.

"TAI!" Sora found herself screaming as she ran for the big mess of hair that could run so much faster than she could. "PLEASE, TAI! WAIT!" He turned so abruptly that she was caught off guard and fell over. He was crying and his face was contorted in rage and anger, both of which were meant for himself.

"I WILL NOT FUCKING WAIT! I HAVE WAITED ALL MY LIFE FOR YOU SORA TAKENOUCHI AND YOU RUN OFF WITH HIM?!" he yelled as he pointed a finger at Matt, who was just arriving.

"DON'T YELL AT HER LIKE THAT!" he screamed back to Tai. Tai lost control at the sight of the boy who just came into view. There was a flash of dark brown mixed with gold, a dull thud, and a pained groan. Sora watched as Tai pushed Matt into the wall of a building at least ten yards away with only a flick of the wrist. Then, Tai walked slowly to where Matt leaned against the wall for support and pinned him there with one hand. Sora watched the almost inhuman display of strength with shimmering tears in her eyes. This was all _her_ fault.

"Stay out of this." Tai said in an almost inaudible whisper.

"STOP!" Sora cried, her tears flowing freely. Tai looked at her and, even in his outburst of rage, obeyed. Matt slid down the wall grunting and moaning as Tai slowly started on his way home.

_Tai's POV:_ Tai slid to the foot of his bed crying. He wanted Sora more than anything in the world. He couldn't live with her being with another person. He got up and moved silently into the hallway and out the door. Gliding with the stealth of a ghost, Tai arrived at the park. It only seemed befitting that it be done here. He sat pondering. _If only I had her._

_Sora's POV: Where could he be?!_ Sora thought frantically. She remembered the look of genuine pain that dawned on Tai's face when he saw her and Matt kiss. Then it hit her. _He does care! Why would he fight Matt if he didn't? Wait… Matt! That's where he is!_ So Sora ran full tilt toward the park where Matt and her first decided to go out. And sure enough, that's where she found him, but something was wrong.

"Tai?" Sora said uncertainly. She knelt beside him and noticed that he was shaking and holding something.

"TAI, NO!!!" Sora screamed as she realized that he was holding his cut and bleeding wrist and a bloody pocket knife lay discarded on the grass. "NO! NO, NO, NO, NO! PLEASE TAI! DON'T LEAVE ME!"

"Why not?" said Tai in a weak voice. "You have Matt. You're happy. That's all that matters."

"NO, TAI! DON'T GO! I DON'T LOVE MATT, I LOVE YOU! I ALWAYS HAVE! YOU CAN'T GO BECAUSE WITHOUT YOU, I'LL DIE!"

And the realization hit Tai with more pain than any knife or bullet could bring. She _loved_ him. He snickered at the irony as he slowly faded.

"Sora. Let me see your eyes." Tai rasped. Sora looked Tai straight in the eye noticed the chocolate was fading to gray.

"DAMNIT TAICHI KAMIYA! YOU WILL NOT LEAVE ME! I NEED YOU" she cried as she held him to her chest. But Tai wasn't listening, but staring into her burnt red eyes staring at him angrily. And just as the sun sets, the boy saw his sun, his moon, his world, his universe no more. But not before whispering, "I love you Sora." and sharing the most mutually coveted kiss.

_Two Weeks Later_

It was a gloomy day, as if the sky were matching young girl's heart. Sora Takenouchi sat in the front row of the funeral that was in remembrance to the young, 15-year-old boy who had taken his own life because of the pain in love. The ceremony was long but Sora heard none of it. She sat, thinking about her love and not only all of the good times they shared, but also the bad times, the fights, the pains. She thought of the feel of his lips on hers. She cried. At last, the sermon came to the note found in the young boy's pocket. The Minister read it aloud.

What the 'Sky' Means to Me

By Taichi Kamiya

The Sky is a delicate thing, fragile yet strong.

She is like a woman who breaks the boundaries of beauty.

Her hair flows like the morning breeze, lazy and soft.

Her skin softer than the moon's radiant glow,

She is shy as she hides behind the clouds, yet she openly weeps when she must.

And I wish she were mine to hold, but it cannot be.

But the most beautiful thing about the sky is her eyes, red as the sunset on the horizon.

And when the sun sets, I will weep.

"Stupid Tai." She mumbled to herself. And Sora wept for the loss of her true love.

"_True love is not rare at a young age, however, recognizing it as true love is"_

Afterword: I know, it's depressing. And it sucked. But I am only thirteen and I didn't even want to do this. I did this as a request from a friend. Besides, I suck at writing anyway (my worst subject =). Whatever. I hope you liked it; it's my first fanfic EVER! Yay =). I also know that the poem sucked but hey, it's Taiora! Oh and to make the poem less confusing, Sora's name means sky. Tai was saying she was pretty and stuff. All just mush. I'm rambling, aren't I? Later.

PS: I might consider making another one. IDK. Maybe if my GF wants me to.


End file.
